Seriously?
I was chatting with
and he said "Happy Christmas eve" and I just spaced out on him, dumbfounded it's almost the end of 2009.
This journal is really an update- so if you don't like long drawn out venting, just skip this long middle paragraph and to the end that probably mostly applies to you.
My grandfather had to have surgery for his heart to put a new valve in because one of them was 75% clogged. I was worried about him but I knew he'd be okay. I don't get to visit him that much because my aunt feels it's inappropriate, and I do agree. He's cut up down the middle and also is rather out of it and it's hard to see him like that. So while he's there, I've been taking care of my grandmother here because I don't have a job at the moment.
It's been a lot. She's on chemo and not eating so every day is a bit disheartening asking her what I can make or get her and she refuses. I just am at the end of my rope.
My mother, a registered nurse, has left me to the responsibilities she she should be living up to. I have to swallow my pride and say I can't handle it. I can't. But everyone in my family is looking to me like it's my job and it's not.
It really is not.
I'm sorry, just venting there, I'm not trying to be a Grinch. I'm overloaded. Trying to get all of the house and yard work done too by myself because my sister is working.
I've been trying to get a CD done as a gift for
's grandmother composed of Christmas songs and it's hardly been easy. Enjoyable to a degree but not easy.
I've been working on some sculptures too for gifts because I am without a job and have to be a Scrooge with my money in a way.
I'm sorry you guys. I know it's rare I make updates or even upload art at all. I used to have a lot of people watching me and commenting regularly but that list has dwindled and I can understand why. I'm just sorry I've been neglecting you guys and this place. Not to say I'm da vinchi but I know some people enjoy my art.
Anyway, I hope you have a very Merry Christmas though if you are enjoying the season of lights and love. Whatever you may celebrate, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Winter Solstice or other things I've never heard of, keep your family and friends near and dear, eat till your sweaters loose their stitches, and please be safe, above all. <3
Thank you all for a wonderful year spent with you and I hope next year will be even more amazing!
love and howls galore
~FM